There were three things that told me I’d stayed away from blogging too long.
1. I’d started thinking about blogging rather than sleeping again.
Me trying to sleep at night:
2. My family kept asking me “when is the last time you blogged?”
Anytime anyone starts a sentence with “when’s the last time you you…”, pay attention.
3. I couldn’t remember how to use WordPress!
It was like that dream where you forget your locker combination on the first day of school. I logged on to WordPress and could not remember how to start a blog. This was no a metaphorical writer’s block. No, this was in the literal “how do I get that view in WordPress where I can start typing in an actual blog again???” (FYI, for me it was NOT like riding a bike.)
Why did I stop blogging in the first place?
It happened slowly. I went three days without blogging. Then I went a week. Then two weeks, which turned into a month and then two months. I kept reading and following other blogs, but not to the same degree. It was like slowly losing touch with a friend for no reason. You just grow apart. Life gets in the way.
I made no active decision to stop blogging. But, if I’m being honest, at the time I also didn’t miss it.
Here’s what I did instead of blogging.
1. I finished the first draft of a new book.
2. I helped my parents move out of the house they lived in for most of my life. (During the move, I uncovered a giant tub full of writing from when I was a kid and some hilarious pictures of me as a child. Apparently, I rocked the bang look for quite some time. Plus, I think I make a decent (not scary) clown. #savetheclowns #makeclownsnotscaryagain!)
3. I worked.
4. I traveled. (Note: Still apparently rockin’ the bang look. Never realized I had such an affinity toward it…)
5. I spent more time with my family.
6. I made no progress on becoming a better photographer. (Thank my daughter’s post-photo production prowess for the fact that any pictures in this blog are even viewable.) BUT I read a lot of books. (Again, apologies for the terrible picture. Seriously – this is why I could never be a social media maven. I have no photography skills AT ALL!)
Why am I back to blogging?
When reading the new book Educated by Tara Westover, I came across a quote from Virginia Woolf that really resonated with me.
“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.”
-Virginia Woolf
When I stopped blogging, I didn’t know why. I am not someone who often understands her emotions and motivations in the moment. I need time to digest. (Sometimes days, sometimes years).
With a little distance, I’ve come to understand blogging had started to feel like a chore. And I never want writing to feel like a chore. Writing is my escape. It always has been.
As I think back, I stopped blogging as a way to preserve the part of me who loves to write because if I lost her or became disillusioned with her, I’m not sure I’d be me anymore. (I know, so dramatic!)
The notebooks full of writing I found in my parents basement reminded me how writing has always been a core part of me. Those pages dated back to first grade when I didn’t care if spelled words like they sounded (rumiging, dasaster). (I wish I could say I’m a better speller but I’m kind of like the Lois Lane of writing – a writer and editor who can’t spell. Oh the irony. Thank goodness for that squiggly red line under words!) When I was a kid, I wrote for no other reason than because I loved it.
Somewhere between drafting novels, Twitter pitch fests, writing for my job and blogging, I misplaced my love of writing. To find it again, I had to be the rumiging/dasaster girl again. I had to get back to the story and not the chore.
And I did that. I wrote a new novel with no other goal other than writing it. It felt great. As I emerged from the novel writing cocoon, the question my family kept asking me – when is the last time you blogged – stopped making me sigh with annoyance and started making me nostalgic.
My Not-So-Exciting Return to Blogging
With a renewed excitement for writing, I got onto WordPress and fumbled through the clicks and tabs, reorienting myself. I won’t pretend like blogging came back to me naturally. This whole blog entry had (and probably still has) awkward stops and starts as I try to get back into the writing style again.
The first day of school after a summer break sensation permeated every period and sentence return. When I opened WordPress I again, I felt as if I were standing in the shadow of a school doorway swimming with uncertainty and self-doubt. (You know, the basic substance that makes up writers). My stomach knotted and twisted with questions. Will they like me? Will they think I’m dumb? Will they judge me for my misspellings? Will anyone even read this far into the blog?
Slowly, though, as I moved and progressed through the blog entry, my fingers became more steady, the words rolled out easier.
Before writing this return to blogging blog, I delved into advice columns such as “how to make a blogging comeback.” Quickly, I realized, there was no flashy comeback for me. I’m not some high profile blogger. I like to write about writing and books and travel (and the things in between). Not very flashy.
There is no big “hey! I’m back!” moment in this blog. That’s not really me. My guess is very few people even realized I’d disappeared from the blog-o-sphere.
So, with that, hi again (or hi for the first time). I hope you come back.
May 21, 2019 at 3:08 pm
I totally get about not intentionally letting the blog go. It’s so easy to let life get in the way. Then my fiancé said to me, “Why aren’t you blogging anymore. I thought you liked it. You should keep doing it.” After some hiccups I think I am getting back to the rhythm. It helps that I finally figured out that I needed a “blogging space” where I could just close off the rest of the world and focus on writing. That has helps tremendously. Welcome back!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 21, 2019 at 4:00 pm
Thanks! It’s nice to be back and glad I’m not alone in my blogging delinquency problems! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 21, 2019 at 5:37 pm
I think everyone needs a break now and again! Welcome back 🙂 I look forward to reading your stuff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 21, 2019 at 6:01 pm
Thanks! Yes, I feel refreshed and missing the the blogging world!!
LikeLike
May 22, 2019 at 9:16 am
I was just on WordPress looking to see when the last time I blogged was, and ran across your blog. It really spoke to me. I need to keep working on it. Of course, I think part of my hangup
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 9:17 am
was the fact that I am still using the free account, and I’m pretty sure no one sees it. But I am going to keep blogging!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 9:20 am
I’m glad it spoke to you! I hope you keep blogging!
LikeLike
May 22, 2019 at 10:54 am
very identifiable emotions
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 5:06 pm
🙂
LikeLike
May 22, 2019 at 1:58 pm
Welcome back! I’d noticed you fading away on the blog-o-sphere, but figured you needed a break. (I do that periodically, too.) Sounds like your break was productive, and I hope you can find a way to keep blogging different enough from the rest of your writing that it’s energizing instead of draining! (It can be hard. This is probably what I struggle with in blogging vs. novel writing the most.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 5:07 pm
Thanks! It was a nice break and productive. Maybe I just need to be more realistic about blogging and not view it as a chore… my life is just a work in progress so we’ll see! It is such a struggle. How do you manage it? Any tips?
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 6:59 pm
Blog when you want to! If it’s not fun, don’t push yourself. I go through periods of lots of blogging interspersed with periods where I barely blog at all.
I tend to have a few “regular features” (Top Ten Tuesday and WIP Wednesday for example) that I don’t put much “writing” into and can do whether I feel like being creative or not. Then my other posts can be where I express my creativity. There have been times when I’ve just done those MEMEs and no posts of substance, and there are times like now when I write a lot more frequently.
I also schedule my posts in advance. Right now I have about a month’s worth of posts (excluding the monthly update posts) which are scheduled to post on future dates. That way I can take as much time writing the new ones as I want to without the pressure of a (self-imposed) posting deadline creeping up on me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 22, 2019 at 8:21 pm
That’s smart, storing them up and scheduling them. You are a good planner! Thanks for the tips. This is helpful. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 11, 2020 at 2:58 am
Writing have always been my escape too. However, once I stopped I never came back until now. I totally feel you !
LikeLiked by 1 person